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Comprehensive Line Edit - sample
This edit sample is from Timothy J. Rizzi’s fifth political thriller, Echo of the Bismarck. He is a best-selling author and it shows. The plot, story flow and character development were solid, so a thorough once-through line-content edit was all it needed, although I did provide some reconstruction.
"Working with Charol has been a pleasure. Her professionalism, skill, and thoroughness are second to none. Throughout my writing career, I’ve worked with a number of gifted editors. None of them have combined the technical aspect of writing with the delicate balance of creativity that keeps a novel flowing as well as Charol. She deftly shapes complex scenes, dialogue and descriptions, helping to make them clear and crisp. I recommend Charol to any writers who take their craft seriously and are looking for a steady hand on the pen to help guide them." - Tim Rizzi
ORIGINAL
The concrete and brick houses appeared greenish white through my night vision goggles. The five single story units were all clumped together at the end of a dirt street. Each had a flat roof, small windows, and a single wooden door. To the left near a narrow alley two vehicles had been parked side by side. They looked like British Land Rovers modified with armor and additional running lights. And from time to time I watched the ghostly images of two armed guards appear as they paced back and forth.
I considered this somewhat ordinary for the town of Abu Kamal. A grimy little place located across Iraq’s western boarder. It was infected with ragtag smugglers, Iraqi military deserters and corrupt political refugees. But on this still June night I reasoned everything would appear normal to a passerby. I had worked this part of the world for the last three months and if everything went as planned in the next fifteen minutes we would capture Samir Khalil, one of the top generals in Hamas militant wing. More importantly we would be one step closer to their leader Habil Abbas, who in the CIA’s world of fighting terrorism was the most wanted man on the planet.
EDITED
The concrete and brick houses appeared greenish white through my night-vision goggles. The five single-story units were all clumped together at the end of a dirt street. Each had a flat roof, small windows, and a single wooden door. To the left, near a narrow alley, two vehicles were parked side by side. They looked like British Land Rovers, modified with armor and additional running lights.
From time to time, I watched the ghostly images of two armed guards appear as they paced back and forth. However, I considered this somewhat ordinary for the town of Abu Kamal, a grimy little place located across Iraq’s western border. It was infected with ragtag smugglers, Iraqi military deserters, and corrupt political refugees. But on this quiet June night, I reasoned that everything would appear normal to a passerby. I had worked this part of the world for the last three months and, if everything went as planned, in the next fifteen minutes we would capture Samir Khalil, one of the top generals in the Hamas militant wing. More importantly, we would be one step closer to their leader, Habil Abbas, who in the CIA’s world of fighting terrorism was the most wanted man on the planet.